Why is 81-Year-Old Martha Stewart Modeling a Swimsuit for Sports Illustrated?

Martha Stewart will not go gently into that goodnight. For Martha Stewart, fighting against the dying light means wearing a swimsuit on the cover of Sports Illustrated. She is the oldest person to ever do this. Clearly, age doesn’t always bring wisdom and dignity.

In the description of the New York Post, she “models a plunging white Monday Swimwear one-piece ($192) along with a billowing orange cover-up by Torso Creations on the front of the iconic glossy.” Even better: “Stewart showed off a bouncy blowout and dewy makeup look for her shoot, looking decades younger than her actual age.”

This brings us to the question: what’s the purpose? Why the Halloween costume? The Post published a separate article about her preparation, stating that “she was serious about her diet before the shoot.”

Stewart revealed during an appearance Monday on “Today”, that she had not eaten any pasta or bread for two months.

She did Pilates. Good for her, but the narcissism/exhibitionism just seems a little, well, tacky.

Page Six Style previously interviewed the thirst trap queen about her tips to look fabulous in selfies. She told us that she begins each day with homemade green juice, and “projects” her chin.

Funny: I am showing my age by admitting I had to search for a “thirst trap” because I first heard it in a story involving an 80-year-old.

Stewart doesn’t care about anti-aging treatments, despite preparing with more exercise and a stricter diet.

“I believe we should all think about living well, living successfully, and not aging. It’s so boring to think about aging. She said, “You know what I’m talking about?” on “Today.”

She’s not interested in anti-aging treatment. She protests too much over this:

She told the magazine that she didn’t really think about her age, but that it was a historic moment.

Not really. This is part of an older generation of people who behave badly. Robert DeNiro, 79 years old, just had his seventh child. This is incredibly selfish.

Jane Fonda, 85 years old, is still protesting climate change as if she were a young communist. Professionally speaking, Jane Fonda is no better than you would think. The concept of “80 for Brady”, which I haven’t watched, is cringeworthy. Surprise! Surprise!

This is the Viagra Generation. In these days of sexual assertiveness, we are supposed to support everyone who lets their freak flag fly – no matter how bad it is. To do otherwise would be regressive, and puritan. You don’t wish to be accused by others of demeaning Grandma.

SI’s swimsuit issue is a sure way to get attention (I don’t know if there were any men in bikinis last year or if it was just a one-time event). The swimsuit issue was a fantasy that you could walk down an empty beach in a faraway location, and see women in tiny bathing suits looking impossibly hot. This is not the nightmare where your aunt Edna recreates the pinup girl poses painted by bomber crews on their B-17s.

What’s the problem with being a Grand dame? An elder statesman? What do you think? At least I now know.